watermelon?!

I keep losing track of how much time I have before the due date. So I checked one of the little apps I have tonight. I says I have less than four weeks, and that the baby is about the size of a watermelon. Watermelon! Of course I feel like I have a huge watermelon in my stomach, but I think they might be referencing the smaller seedless variety.

Things are going really good though.  I have to consciously focus on NOT walking like a monkey from the Planet of the Apes remake (mmmm... Marky Mark). I start out nights in my own bed, spend a few hours in the chair in Mason's room, and usually end up on the couch. I slipped about two inches the other day while mopping the floor. Those two inches cost me several hours of pain. And I've started throwing up randomly.

So we focus on the less than four weeks part...
But I hate due dates. I'm still trying to think of due month. Any time in December... any time.

I am so excited to meet my baby. When I can't sleep at night I try to imagine who he will be.

busted

Jason and I had an appointment with the midwife yesterday to talk about our birth plan. That's right, birth plan. Yet another reason I'm in love with the midwife approach. Not that I have big spectacular plans or very alternative wishes, but it's so refreshing to have someone ask what I'd like to have happen. It's good to know that I can do some things my way (like not being stuck in a bed strapped to equipment) and that's Laurie is still keeping me safe (like getting on the monitors from time to time).

The big news is that she got in an accident and broke her shoulder. I keep waiting to freak out about this, but I'm not. I felt so strongly that I should switch providers, now it's looking like she probably won't do the actual delivery. Perhaps it's me, maybe I'm bad luck. Our Doc with Mason ended up getting sick and wasn't the one that delivered him either. Does it matter? I think the "big switch" got me on the right road, does it matter who is at the end? I can't believe I'm so calm about saying "Yeah, let's plan on the midwife student doing the actual delivery". Seriously?

Perhaps this is my chance really have the very calm, involved, intimate delivery that I want. If I am even half lucid, I want to do as much of it myself as possible. I am reasonable though. Come up with whatever birth plan you want, there's only so much you have control over. Won't it be funny when I end up so heavily medicated that I don't remember a thing?!

i take it back

After writing that I am going to wait a while longer before I start getting things ready I had a bit of a wake up call. I've been experiencing A LOT of false contractions with this pregnancy. They are annoying and uncomfortable and I'm glad they didn't bug me much last time. A few nights ago they were driving me nuts so I laid down. That usually makes them go away. They didn't. They actually got stronger and started in coming in organized waves of pain. The pain was different.  Like real contraction pain. I told Jason and he started timing them to see the pattern. Meanwhile we both had a moment of "Oh my gosh we are so not ready for this".

The pain eventually faded off and I faded into dream land where I had all sorts of dreams of unpreparedness. So as much fun as it was last delivery (leaving the bag and camera in the car because I was sure they were going to send us home) I think it's time to get organized. Another motivating factor is Jess and Dan came and moved most of their stuff out of the basement so I can actually get to the baby boxes. I'm sure we have just about everything we need, it's just a matter of finding it.

next month and the crater

Today is November. That means I can officially say I'm having my baby next month. Sure, it's way over a month, but it's next month! Jason politely asked me to refrain from going crazy with all the preparation until around Thanksgiving. So the crib and hospital bag stay stashed away physically but mentally I've set it all up and packed a dozen times. He's the sensible one. I'd have everything pulled out and in the way. I already have a half dozen projects and deep cleaning attempts that aren't finished. So instead of being closer to being ready, I get further away each day. I thought about sending Mason to play with a family member for a day so I can actually finish something around the house. Then I realized I'd probably just fall asleep, never wake, and waste the day. I better save my favors for the post baby chaos.

I'm loving my big round baby growing belly. I forget how much mass I have in front of me. Occasionally I bump into things. Or the best is when I try to squeeze past someone and end up stuck. I say excuse me while they look at my stomach with an expression that says "what were you thinking"? Getting out of bed is ridiculous, so I try to sweetly ask Jason to get stuff for me so I don't have to get up once I'm down. It makes me feel La-Zy!!!. If only he could pee for me...

I've started wearing Jason's T-shirts to bed... and occasionally beyond. He says it's cute but I know he's really thinking "I hope she gives that one back before basketball on Tuesday". I wish I could let myself wear PJs or work out clothes all day long but it makes me feel like a scrub. I know there will be too many days like that after the baby arrives. The good news is that I can still tie my own shoes (yes, I wore real shoes one day last week).

The strangest thing to me is that my belly button just won't give up. With Mason's pregnancy it just slowly disappeared. I felt sort of inhuman without a belly button. This time, no matter how big I've been getting, it still won't let go. This creates a funny little crater indentation that you can see even when fully clothed. Like someone stuck their finger in rising dough. It's funny. And probably too much information.