busted

Jason and I had an appointment with the midwife yesterday to talk about our birth plan. That's right, birth plan. Yet another reason I'm in love with the midwife approach. Not that I have big spectacular plans or very alternative wishes, but it's so refreshing to have someone ask what I'd like to have happen. It's good to know that I can do some things my way (like not being stuck in a bed strapped to equipment) and that's Laurie is still keeping me safe (like getting on the monitors from time to time).

The big news is that she got in an accident and broke her shoulder. I keep waiting to freak out about this, but I'm not. I felt so strongly that I should switch providers, now it's looking like she probably won't do the actual delivery. Perhaps it's me, maybe I'm bad luck. Our Doc with Mason ended up getting sick and wasn't the one that delivered him either. Does it matter? I think the "big switch" got me on the right road, does it matter who is at the end? I can't believe I'm so calm about saying "Yeah, let's plan on the midwife student doing the actual delivery". Seriously?

Perhaps this is my chance really have the very calm, involved, intimate delivery that I want. If I am even half lucid, I want to do as much of it myself as possible. I am reasonable though. Come up with whatever birth plan you want, there's only so much you have control over. Won't it be funny when I end up so heavily medicated that I don't remember a thing?!