tips for survival

I'm feeling so much better than I did a month ago. It's almost hard to believe. So before I forget (yes, I forget! I glaze over the rough stuff of motherhood. I think most women do. That's why there's such thing as siblings) here's a list of things that helped the first trimester.

• Sleep. I'd heard that exhaustion can make all morning sickness symptoms worse. It's so true. When I took care of myself, took every opportunity to nap, and headed to bed at a reasonable hour, it made a big difference.
  
• Eating at night. My mom found this one for me and it helped when nothing else did. I'm a light sleeper so I wake up a lot during the night. Also, with Jason out of state I was the only one attending to Mason if he woke up at night. Every time I woke up enough to realize I was awake I would eat something. It was usually a few pretzels I kept by my bed or something similar. It made the mornings more manageable. Scientifically it has something to do with blood sugar levels or something... all I know is that it helped.
  
• Lemons. I don't believe in pregnancy cravings. I do believe that when you are going through a hard experience that food can help a person momentarily feel better. That's why chicks gorge on ice cream when they get dumped. But whatever, I'm sounding judgmental. For me it's a fight to find anything that is palatable. I found that citrus was refreshing. With Mason I preferred limes, this round it was lemons. And an occasional binge of clementines. Even the tartness of lemon drops got me through some rough situations.
  
• Slim Fast. Funny right? At a time when I'm faced with a "slow and constant bulge" it was slim fast that helped calm my stomach. I absolutely did not use it as a meal substitution, but as a supplement. My doc would have preferred Ensure but that was SO NOT going to stay down. Super cold slim fast smoothie, sometimes just a sip at a time, added some needed calories. It was my go-to item when I got the shakes (no pun intended) from extended hours of no food.
  
• Potatoes. One of the first things I noticed when I realized I was expecting was a problematic aversion to vegetables. I tried to keep eating them and my body said NO! I think it was my mom once again who helped me discover the wonder of the baked potato. For a long time it was the one veggie I could keep down.
• Soda. Specifically a medium cherry fresh lime from Top Spot. I don't usually drink any pop whatsoever but this was helpful. Can someone please explain why I couldn't eat vegetables but a artificially flavored sugar concoction was allowed?
• Ice packs. On the eyes, forehead, and especially the back of the neck. It was a distraction when battling the nausea and soothing when I lost the fight.
• Medicine. My doc hooked me up with some amazing anti-nausea medication that comes in a gel form. It comes in pills too but I'm usually too sick to keep the pills in my body long enough to help. So this gel goes on your wrists where it is quickly absorbed into the blood stream. I'll be honest, I don't think it helped me throw up any less, but I believe it helped the in-between times so I wasn't constantly "on the verge".

• PIZZA! Mason was probably completely nourished by cheese pizza from Fazoli's. It was the only thing I was able to eat when I was pregnant and working. It's the carbs? The unoffensive smell and texture? I don't know, but I found once again with this pregnancy that pizza calmed my stomach. It doesn't make any sense, but then again what part of puking your guts out does??
  

little MISTER lucky

Poor kid has already been labeled "uncooperative", "stubborn", "squirmy", and "modest" by medical professionals and he's still in the womb. After a LOT of poking and prodding (and rolling and twisting on my part) we finally got a glimpse. I am so happy to know we're having another boy. We're also so happy to see him doing so well and that everything looks good.

When I got home Jason had this fill-in-the-blank waiting for me. I decided to make dinner first so he filled it in for me. Mean, I know, but how often do I get to have a secret?

This is the real result. Mason is smiling now... he has no idea what he's in for!

ah... the internet

Mason is mellow this evening and Jason is working late. So I put on my virtual swim suit for some frivolous web surfing. We explored all sorts of crazy gender prediction theories. It kept me entertained for a whole twenty minutes (and wonder why in the world any pregnant woman would risk messing with Drano fumes). There are certainly a lot of tests and theories out there.

So now I am completely convinced I have a 50% chance of either outcome.

I have tried to trick myself into "feeling" one way or the other. Truth be told, I just want this baby. With Mason I really wanted a boy. I think another one would be great. Just as great as experiencing the new frontier of a daughter. I used to think Starrs could only have boys, but then J&N finally had a girl.

So I don't really know what to think. But I don't think I'll find my answer on the internet.

i declare...

I declare this to be Exhaustion Week. It reminds me of a few months ago when I would fall asleep every time I stopped moving. Back in those days I usually had 3-4 naps before 10am. Mason is a little less nap tolerant these days so I can't get away with snoozing our lives away. I do try to kick up my feet when I can, and then I stretch out and hold really still so I can recognize the slight little movements in my stomach.

conversation with brother

Me: Hey, do you want a boy or a girl?
Mason: Girl.
Me: A girl or a boy?
Mason: Boy.
Me: Pink or Blue?
Mason: Blue.
Me: Blue or pink?
Mason: Pink.
Me: Are you just saying whatever I say last?
Mason: No.
Me: So do you want a brother or a sister?
Mason: NO!

is that you?

Last night I was in bed, trying to find a comfortable arrangement of pillows, blankets, and limbs. I'm already achy and uncomfortable at night, which is daunting because I haven't put on any weight yet. It's going to be a LONG pregnancy if I'm already not sleeping well at this point.

I finally rolled onto my back and sighed. Right then I felt something. Just a familiar nudge. A light flutter. Only as strong as my heartbeat. But unmistakable. The Quickening. Then it came again. I can't believe I'm feeling the baby already. We fell asleep with big smiles on our faces.

alabama miracle cure

We've moved to Alabama for the rest of the summer. Jason left first and we were supposed to follow but I've been to sick to move. I was worried about the 3 day drive and the exhaustion of packing and moving.

It looks like we had good timing ("a ticka ticka ticka good timin"). The trip went smoothly. Other than a few bad hours, I was really healthy. No throwing up in every state along the way! Since being here, I've had some bad episodes but nothing compared to the debilitating morning sickness I've had up to this point. I couldn't believe that day after day was passing without losing my lunch.

I thought Alabama must be magic or something. I thought I left my morning sickness in Utah. Or maybe it's the not-being-separated-from-the-husband factor. So when I got sick again I was pretty bummed. I am grateful that it's letting up though. Thank heavens for the glories of the second trimester.

Funny though: Jason has missed all the lovely and attractive puking action. He left before I got sick, and I was so much better by the time we got here. The few times I've been sick out here, he's been away from home. He might suspect I'm just making it up! :)

Fresh Air

Mason and I went to the Ranch for the Horsley Reunion. We stayed outside the cabins in a tent. I went FOUR days without throwing up. I decided it was all the fresh air. Or maybe the elevation change. Or maybe the magic of the mountain. Or the pond water. Either way it was really great.

Then we got home and I was sick enough for all that time put together multiplied by two. I think I might have to start sleeping outside on my lawn or something to get more of that wonderful fresh air.

two steps forward one step back

I'm a pretty miserable pregnant person. Luckily things have been getting better but I still have a lot of bad days. Sunday: good day. Monday: very bad day. Tuesday: good day. Today: bad day.

I got a lot done yesterday but probably pushed myself too hard. I don't have my normal strength or energy. I certainly paid for it today. I think I have a fragile constitution. Pioneer woman material I am not. It's so surprising to see how limited I am now compared to my normal abilities.

I have to make plans very cautiously. Nothing on Mondays and certainly nothing before 10am. Mornings continue to be the worst, but if I can take them very slowly it helps.

So today wasn't great...but hopefully that means better luck tomorrow.

happy words

My best friend Lindsey is just that...she's the best. She knows how crazy hard this pregnancy has been so she gave me the BEST present. I'd told her how gross and depressing it is to throw up in a toilet so she made me this:

It's a one of a kind, priceless, puke bowl. To help lift my spirits she added funny, sweet, and tender messages in permanent marker. Because I'm more in a "I need a laugh" mood, I'll share the funny ones now and post the others later. Thanks Linz! Your thoughtfulness and intuition are amazing...it's almost creepy :)

• Love and pregnancy and riding on a camel cannot be hid. -Arabic Proverb
• Vomit: to throw forth matter ejected from the stomach through the mouth; to spew; to disgorge; to belch forth; to emit; to eject from any hollow place. For further info contact Ashley.
  
• More people get out of your way if you say "I'm gonna puke" than if you say "excuse me."
• If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
• Feeling fat lasts 9 months but the joy of becoming a mom lasts forever.
• People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's in water. But certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.
  
• AND MY FAVORITE: Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant.
  

mommy box

I am starting to pack up to head to Alabama for the summer. We'll only be TWO months behind Jason. I went to the basement to drag out my "Mommy Box". I knew I put some maternity clothes in there and thought I might need them before we move back home.

I forgot how much I hated maternity clothes. And it shows. I have exactly two pairs of pants (only one of which I ever used because the others were horrible), one bra (I think it's actually for nursing), and one shirt (and it's more of a pajama shirt).

So, I basically have no maternity clothes. I wonder what in the world I wore when I was pregnant with Mason...

one down...

The first trimester is finally over.
I feel a little less scared.
I feel a little less sick.
I feel a little stronger.
I feel a little smile coming on.
Almost feels like excitement.

Let's never do May again.
That was really hard.
I actually thought I might not make it.

Let's pray June is just lovely.

miracle grow

No wonder I am so tired all the time! Every time I go see the doctor, which is every two weeks, you've "aged" more than two weeks! It's hard work growing a baby at 1.5 times the normal rate. The due date keeps changing...oh well... you'll probably be late like your big brother. Let's aim to keep the action in 2010 though, okay?

wonderful awful pills

Doc says it safe to go off of the wonderful awful pills. I'd be more hesitant, but I hate it so much that I am willing to do what he says. Never in my life have I loved and hated something so much.

love how it increases my chances to keep this pregnancy
love how blessed I am to live in a time of medical technology miracles

hate how it makes morning sickness into every second sickness
hate all the other side effects that make me miserable

hate how it makes me sick and then I throw up my pills and then I freak out because I need them so I try to take more and then I get sick again and end up a stressed starving sobbing mess.

So goodbye and good riddance.
(now Placenta, DO YOUR THING!)

Hello Beautiful

This is at 8 and 1/2 weeks. I haven't posted other pictures because there wasn't much to see. But this! This is amazing. This is huge progress.

I could stay and listen to your heart beat all day.

Today I heard your little heartbeat and dared to hope.