six weeks

Elijah spent this milestone feeling pretty sick. We were getting concerned that it was RSV but last night was better and so hopefully he's on his way to full health.

Eli Trivia:

His eyes are blue.
His hair is crazy.
He loves riding around in a sling.
He sleeps propped up or else he soaks his clothes with spit up.
His days and nights are still a bit mixed up. He takes wonderful day time naps and can hardly stay asleep at night. But it's getting better.
He likes low soulful songs.
He loves to suck and suck and suck. He'd spend all day with a pacifier in his mouth if we let him. His fist is a good substitute.
We don't call him Elijah. We've saving it for his mischievous days.
He gets stark raving mad when we suction his nose. See picture below.



This can be his official 6 week picture. Ironically it does not look like him much. He was on his stomach on my legs and refused to put his head down and relax. Holding his own head up like this really changes his appearance.

Birth Story Part 2: The 911 Call

This is a long one: We requested the call recording from dispatch and just got it in the mail today. It's about 7 minutes long. Jason dialed on the way outside to get Mason out of the car and bring him back inside. I think readers can tell exactly at what point he walked back into the bedroom where I was. Listening to this the first few times made me cry. Then laugh. Now I think I may *almost* be ready to write my version of the event.

Normal type is the dispatchers dialog and the bold print is Jason's. (I left out a lot of the "okay"s. I went back and counted and between the two of them there were something like 105.)

911 What’s the address of your emergency?(Gives address) Is there an apartment number? No, it’s a house. My wife …ha…is going into labor.  She’s going into labor? Yeah. Okay. Mumble. Oh go ahead? This is in Cedar City correct? Yeah. Okay what’s your phone number real quick? Uh, #### Okay that verifies. Okay let me get some information okay? Okay.  (baby crying sound) Has she already had the baby?! No, no this is our other one. Okay, how old is your wife? Uh, 26. Okay. Is she awake?  Yeah.  Is she breathing? Yeah (Mason crying continues) She said the baby’s crowned. She said the baby’s crowned? Okay How many weeks/months pregnant is she? She’s…Her due date is this week.  It’s this week? Can you see or feel or touch a – He’s here! He’s here! We need someone right away. Okay. Okay you say your wife says she crowning. OHHHHH! He’s here he’s here. He’s- Okay Sir? Sir? Yeah. Yeah. Sir? Is it coming out right now? He’s lying on my floor!  The baby’s on the floor?! Yeah. Okay Okay. Can you… Okay just calm down sir. Ok I’m going to get the ambulance right out there okay? Ok, The door is unlocked.  Just hold it.  What can I, what should I be doing?  (To Ash) What should I be doing? (Ash: I need the bulb suction)  Um where? Mason come here. Mason come in. Can you stay right here bud? (Ash: It’s okay)  

 Sir? Sir? Okay I’m going to tell you what to do. I’ve got the ambulance enroute. I’ve got officers enroute.  This is what I want you to do okay? The baby is out? How is your wife doing? Is she? She’s doing good (laughing). Okay I want you to get a towel.  Okay, we’ve got a towel. Wrap the baby in the towel.  Wrap him in the towel Ash.  This is what I…The baby is out. Your wife and the baby are both laying on the floor right? She’s kneeling beside him sucking his nose with… Is the baby breathing? He’s kinda whimpering, yeah.  Get some dry towels and a blanket to wrap the baby in.  K, Ash. Can you…or should I..We just need to wrap the baby up. Keep him…(Big sigh)… How’s your wife doing? How’s the baby doing? She’s doing good, he’s kind of whimpering. 

You need to get a string or a shoelace to tie around the umbilical cord.  You need to tie a shoelace around his umbilical cord, does it have to be... Just something…K how’s the baby? Is he crying or breathing at all? He’s not…Ash is he… He’s not breathing? He’s not crying. He’s not crying. But he’s breathing? Is he breathing? He’s breathing a little bit, yeah. Just have your wife gently wipe off the baby’s mouth and nose.  Gently wipe his mouth and nose.  Okay? Um, holy cow I don’t know.  Ok sir? Yeah?  Your wife’s kinda got it under control? Yeah, she’s… You just make sure she’s got a clean towel she can wrap the baby in and a clean blanket.  Okay. And then how’s the ...(crying) Is that the baby crying? No that’s … That’s the other baby?  That’s the other one.  Ok. Just have your wife dry the baby off with a clean towel. And you help her, okay? Then you wrap the baby up. Is your wife holding the baby in her arms already? No she’s lying on the ground doing towels.  Okay. Without pulling the cord tight I want you to put the baby in the mother’s arms or on her belly, whatever is comfortable. Make sure the cords not wrapped around the baby’s neck. Is it? ...Yeah it’s not around his neck. Be sure to keep the baby and your wife warm. Get a blanket for both of them. Keep them warm. Now listen carefully. I’m going to tell you what to do next. Okay.  Do you have a string? Do you have any dental floss? A shoestring? I have…What would be best? Whatever you have. Do you have a shoestring? Yeah I’ve got…I can take one out real quick.  Okay, just take one out. Okay do you have one? Okay just relax. Are the baby and the wife doing alright? Hello? (Call is dropped when Jason drops his phone)  

Sorry. My phone… Did you get the shoelace out? I’m trying to get one out. Does it matter if it’s dirty? Nope, just whatever you have.  K, here’s a string. Is there any way you can tie… Dispatcher to officers: She’s full term and the baby’s out. They are breathing. He’s crying a little bit. Okay sir. Without pulling on the cord I want you tie the string or shoelace tightly around the umbilical cord about six inches from the baby, ok. Don’t cut the umbilical cord just tie it. Can you tie it six inches? From the baby and don’t pull on it. How tight? Just tight.  Tie it tight or not tight? Just tie it tight.  Okay. Do you have it done now? Yeah.  Just keep your wife and your baby…just keep the baby on the tummy. Can you put him on your stomach? Keep him warm. I should have some officers there. What’s that? There should be some officers there. Can someone let the officers in the house? Yeah, it’s open. Let me… They have medical training. They’re going to help you until the ambulance gets there. Yeah they’re here. I’m going to let you go then sir. Okay. Congratulations. Bye Bye.  Bye.

baby is sick

Eli is a little sick so I'm a little tired. I'd rather stay up all night holding him than worry that he's having a rough time.
Actually I'd rather stay up all night holding him just for the heck of it.

firsts

It's crazy to think that I'll ever be writing about Eli's first steps or first words. His "firsts" right now are so little but they seem so big.

These are the jammies Eli wore home from the hospital. The size is newborn but they still swamped him at the time. Now they fit! He is five weeks old and there are a couple of the smaller newborn outfits that are getting a bit snug. This is a huge relief to me since I worry about him eating enough and gaining weight. We'll have billions of normal faced expressions so I thought I'd include some funny grimaces.

He's flashing West Side in the last pic

Another first, I took both boys shopping. At a store! Full of germs and people! and by myself! They did just fine. Question...if you put the car seat in the back and the toddler in the front, where in the world do you put the groceries?!

We also went to church last week. I'll admit I was so nervous I was about to throw up the whole morning. I really don't know why. I'm very chill and easy going compared to baby #1. But I was worried about people and sickness and the cold weather and nursing and a bunch of other things that were pretty irrational. My cousin Misty was even there to help. I was sure I'd last 15 minutes before bailing but we made and once again... it was just fine.



Well I'm typing this while *covered* in spit up from shoulder to waist. Eli had his very first mommy-soaking spit up and very first diaper blow out within 3 minutes. He must be feeling better now:)
I think I'll hit the shower.

beautiful baby

Babies are beautiful. Lately it seems that all the little babies I've seen are of the angelic variety. You see their big eyes and round cheeks and can't help but think of butterflies, bubbles, puffy clouds and sugar cookies. They are so smiley and cherubic.

I don't have those kind of babies. I thought it was just Mason but Eli is a second example of the type of babies I have. They are absolutely beautiful, but the adjectives used to describe them come from a different section of the thesaurus. They look like little old men. Wizened, observant, shrewd, contemplative, and judicious. It can be startling to glance at your tiny baby and see that they are staring back at you with such intensity. It's as if he's trying to tell me something extremely important and I need to pay attention.

Eli is so expressive. He has his share of lovely smiles and content expressions. But it's a bit rough on my confidence as a mother that he also has a look of skepticism that frequents his face. I love the silent moments we share as we gaze into each others' eyes. I'm wondering who he'll become and yearning to know everything about him. He looks back and in his eyes I see absolute love and acceptance. He knows everything about me and is willing to teach me what God needs me to learn.

Jason to Mason "Tell your mom she makes pretty babies."

inside out

As uncomfortable as it was, I got used to having that big belly. It's really strange now to have it gone. The area right below my ribs seems the emptiest. It's all caved in and hollow. Eli is such a wiggly kid, was then, is now. Now all the pokes and jabs come from the outside.

There have been a few moments where I have the same baby-kickin-in-my-baby feeling.
The first was on Saturday. We went for a walk. Mason was in the stroller and Eli was in a sling. My friend has my favorite one so I used what I call my Baby Origami Wrap. It looks like this:

Source: wrapyourbaby.com

and you have to have a PHD or three arms to properly wrap/twist/tuck/and tie it up. I don't have either so I did my own little version and hit the road. As I was walking along I naturally dropped my free hand onto the baby's back which was bundled up on my torso. It felt just like being pregnant again (minus the lovely waddle).

Again I had that same strange feeling last night. When Eli fusses at night we found that sometimes all he needs is the weight of a hand on his chest to calm him down and send him back to dreamland. I reached over from my bed into his bassinet and put my hand on our swaddled up bundle of joy boy. He was squirming and suddenly those movements through the blanket felt all too familiar. Like... inside out-ish. 

shoulda named him Harry

Or Hairy rather.
Eli has more hair on his shoulders than most babies have on their heads. When he was first born his eye brows kept going up his forehead into his hair line. Our little monkey indeed.


When his hair is wet it goes into tiny curls.
As it dries, and as admirers stroke his head, it just goes wild- poking up all over.
He'll probably rub most of it off but hopefully we'll get to keep the mullet.
It's already over an inch long and it's thick!
Eli's Tennessee Mudflap would make MacGyver proud.

strength, squints, and smiles

Eli is two and a half weeks old. Here are some of the things I've fallen in love with.

He is so strong for such a scrawny little boy. He tries to hold up his head and check out this crazy world. Sometimes when he's ready to eat he gets so excited that he beats me up pretty good with his upper cuts and jabs. Eli likes to hold on to my finger and his grip is astonishing. Even his doctor remarked at his skinny/strong legs. Changing his diaper or clothes is a bit challenging. It seems concerning to have to hold a baby's legs so tightly, but if we don't get a good grip he's likely to jump away and run for the door naked.

When Eli was born one of the first things I noticed about him was this cute little fold on his nose. As he gets older it's less prominant but still when he squishes up his face to cry it makes a long line across his whole face from eye to eye. Then I say "don't be sad little Squints. You won't always look so silly" and he cries some more.

People say babies this young can't smile, or that those expressions are gas or whatever. I agree that Eli isn't smiling at me just yet, but boy, he's certainly smiling at something. He has smirks, huge gummy grins, and soft pleased expressions. He does them when he's awake, asleep, burping, and bathing. I really enjoy his happy little face. Can't get enough of it.

first real bath

I love bathing babies. I have been so tempted to dunk Eli for days now. His cord is all better now so he can officially graduate from sponge baths to the tub. Of couse Mason wanted in on the action. When Mason was a newborn we found the bath and the noise of running water would calm him when nothing else worked. Our trick to helping the babies feel secure in the water is to swaddle them tightly and put the whole bundle in the water. As they get comfortable and accustomed to the sensation we slowly remove the blanket. If they get cold or insecure, pulling the blanket over their torso does the trick.

like father like son

Birth Story: From across the street

{creative liberties taken}

Linda was awake. Once again she just couldn't sleep. In typical Linda fashion she made the most of her extra night time hours, she was cleaning. Her chore of choice this early Thursday morning was dusting. It took a little longer with all of the Christmas decorations on many surfaces.

She was the first to notice there was something amiss in the normally quiet neighborhood. Right before four she saw lights come on across the street. The young father living there ran out in the rainy weather and started the car. Then he came out carrying his toddler and some bags and returned to the house. Moments later he ran back out and took the crying child back in.

Linda did not have long to analyze what she'd seen, for within minutes the dark street erupted in flashing lights and vehicles. First, policemen. Next, paramedics in a first response vehicle. Then, a couple in a jeep who Linda recognized as relatives. Finally, the wail of sirens was heard and an ambulance arrived.

Her curiosity couldn't be contained. She threw on a jacket and crossed the street. She approached the officers near the porch. Despite her manners and benign questions, she was only told "I'm sorry ma'am. We can't say."

to the world

There is a lot to be said about Eli and his amazing story. But I'm tired. And since a picture is worth a thousand words...

Announcing...

Elijah Parker Starr was born into his astonished mother's hands on December 16th at 4:10am at home. He was shortly introduced to his startled father Jason, big brother Mason, shocked policemen,  skilled paramedics, excited grandparents, and eventually an ambulance crew.

Eli weighs 8 lbs and is 19 inches long. We are overwhelmed at his entrance to this world and feel so blessed to have a happy healthy baby.

dear mary, I'm sorry

Today I was thinking about the reason we have Christmas and all that Christ did for me. I started to think of his mother, Mary, and how difficult it must have been for her to bring him into this world under such humble conditions. I was filled with guilt as I reviewed all of my modern comforts and conveniences. I have my medical professionals, family, and friends on stand by. I pretty much know how and where I will be delivering my child. Goodness, I complain of discomfort! Imagine traveling over 100 miles on foot or on a donkey! So Mary, I'm sorry. And, of course, thank you.

compare and contrast

I know that I shouldn't compare my kids... so I'll compare pregnancies! I've been noticing some little differences. It's almost like this is a whole new boy or something.

With my first I lost a lot of weight before I gained any. 

With the second I only lost a few pounds and feel a lot bigger.

I would get crazy bad leg cramps with Mason at night. 

Occasionally my foot will get a charlie horse, but it's heartburn that bothers me this time around. 

Mason had a sweet spot on my right rib that he would attack with his feet. It was always tender and sore. 

Lucky is a little less intense but always seems to be squirming. He does do barrel rolls when I least expect it.

I used to get dizzy in the shower with the first. 

I am addicted to baths and soaking my joints lately.

My feet would swell a bit at night and it felt really strange to get out of bed in the morning with tight toes. 

I get up every night between 3-4am STARVING. Bread and jam and back to bed.

watermelon?!

I keep losing track of how much time I have before the due date. So I checked one of the little apps I have tonight. I says I have less than four weeks, and that the baby is about the size of a watermelon. Watermelon! Of course I feel like I have a huge watermelon in my stomach, but I think they might be referencing the smaller seedless variety.

Things are going really good though.  I have to consciously focus on NOT walking like a monkey from the Planet of the Apes remake (mmmm... Marky Mark). I start out nights in my own bed, spend a few hours in the chair in Mason's room, and usually end up on the couch. I slipped about two inches the other day while mopping the floor. Those two inches cost me several hours of pain. And I've started throwing up randomly.

So we focus on the less than four weeks part...
But I hate due dates. I'm still trying to think of due month. Any time in December... any time.

I am so excited to meet my baby. When I can't sleep at night I try to imagine who he will be.

busted

Jason and I had an appointment with the midwife yesterday to talk about our birth plan. That's right, birth plan. Yet another reason I'm in love with the midwife approach. Not that I have big spectacular plans or very alternative wishes, but it's so refreshing to have someone ask what I'd like to have happen. It's good to know that I can do some things my way (like not being stuck in a bed strapped to equipment) and that's Laurie is still keeping me safe (like getting on the monitors from time to time).

The big news is that she got in an accident and broke her shoulder. I keep waiting to freak out about this, but I'm not. I felt so strongly that I should switch providers, now it's looking like she probably won't do the actual delivery. Perhaps it's me, maybe I'm bad luck. Our Doc with Mason ended up getting sick and wasn't the one that delivered him either. Does it matter? I think the "big switch" got me on the right road, does it matter who is at the end? I can't believe I'm so calm about saying "Yeah, let's plan on the midwife student doing the actual delivery". Seriously?

Perhaps this is my chance really have the very calm, involved, intimate delivery that I want. If I am even half lucid, I want to do as much of it myself as possible. I am reasonable though. Come up with whatever birth plan you want, there's only so much you have control over. Won't it be funny when I end up so heavily medicated that I don't remember a thing?!

i take it back

After writing that I am going to wait a while longer before I start getting things ready I had a bit of a wake up call. I've been experiencing A LOT of false contractions with this pregnancy. They are annoying and uncomfortable and I'm glad they didn't bug me much last time. A few nights ago they were driving me nuts so I laid down. That usually makes them go away. They didn't. They actually got stronger and started in coming in organized waves of pain. The pain was different.  Like real contraction pain. I told Jason and he started timing them to see the pattern. Meanwhile we both had a moment of "Oh my gosh we are so not ready for this".

The pain eventually faded off and I faded into dream land where I had all sorts of dreams of unpreparedness. So as much fun as it was last delivery (leaving the bag and camera in the car because I was sure they were going to send us home) I think it's time to get organized. Another motivating factor is Jess and Dan came and moved most of their stuff out of the basement so I can actually get to the baby boxes. I'm sure we have just about everything we need, it's just a matter of finding it.

next month and the crater

Today is November. That means I can officially say I'm having my baby next month. Sure, it's way over a month, but it's next month! Jason politely asked me to refrain from going crazy with all the preparation until around Thanksgiving. So the crib and hospital bag stay stashed away physically but mentally I've set it all up and packed a dozen times. He's the sensible one. I'd have everything pulled out and in the way. I already have a half dozen projects and deep cleaning attempts that aren't finished. So instead of being closer to being ready, I get further away each day. I thought about sending Mason to play with a family member for a day so I can actually finish something around the house. Then I realized I'd probably just fall asleep, never wake, and waste the day. I better save my favors for the post baby chaos.

I'm loving my big round baby growing belly. I forget how much mass I have in front of me. Occasionally I bump into things. Or the best is when I try to squeeze past someone and end up stuck. I say excuse me while they look at my stomach with an expression that says "what were you thinking"? Getting out of bed is ridiculous, so I try to sweetly ask Jason to get stuff for me so I don't have to get up once I'm down. It makes me feel La-Zy!!!. If only he could pee for me...

I've started wearing Jason's T-shirts to bed... and occasionally beyond. He says it's cute but I know he's really thinking "I hope she gives that one back before basketball on Tuesday". I wish I could let myself wear PJs or work out clothes all day long but it makes me feel like a scrub. I know there will be too many days like that after the baby arrives. The good news is that I can still tie my own shoes (yes, I wore real shoes one day last week).

The strangest thing to me is that my belly button just won't give up. With Mason's pregnancy it just slowly disappeared. I felt sort of inhuman without a belly button. This time, no matter how big I've been getting, it still won't let go. This creates a funny little crater indentation that you can see even when fully clothed. Like someone stuck their finger in rising dough. It's funny. And probably too much information.